I need help removing her.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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