If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
