You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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