Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
