tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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