I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
