Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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