this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
