She is in my trunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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