JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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