u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
