You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
