It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
