I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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