we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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