i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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