I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
