How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize