i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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