Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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