So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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