True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
