Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
