why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
pray to the hookup gods
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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