it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
