Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
