Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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