The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
