why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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