You're my little dorito
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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