I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
