It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The Olympian is in my bed
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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