wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
