somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
