The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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