I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
