Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
