Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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