there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
