i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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