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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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