Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bring money and cleavage
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I could fuck to npr.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
