He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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