Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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