i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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