It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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