well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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