end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
