i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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