Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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