Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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