what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
