Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize