hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
