she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
