You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
