everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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