i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
