the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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